Hi, im Danielle , i’m 17 and from Canada.
The only special thing about me is that i’m a ginger, and i love being a red head. I have an amazing boyfriend and the best family and friends you could ever have. But life wasn’t always so great for me.
A year ago my life completely turned around. It was August, a few weeks before school started. Always the worst time for me because my anxiety was through the roof, from worrying about school, and friends, and of course, seeing.. him again. But something was different this year.. me.
I just couldn’t handle it. Any of it. Friends, family, growing up,the pressure to be perfect, trying to not disappoint anyone, wanting to be skinny, wanting to be good enough, just wanting to not feel so low and alone for once. It was piling up on me and suffocating me, i wanted it to go away, so badly. I would have done ANYthing to make it all stop … and that what i did. That august day, i had enough, i was so beyond low. I felt like nothing, like not a soul cared, that i was completely alone. So I took the blade, ran it straight down my arm. Not hard enough. Abit more pressure this time. Over and over again,at least ten times.
I was going to bleed to death. I had it all planned out, figured it only take me an hour or two to die from the amount of blood loss i would have, which would be perfect. Dad was biking for a few hours. I would have the perfect note ready beside me for dad when he came home, explaining all of this. How depressed i was, how i hated being alive, how i hated me and everyone around me, how i cut, how i was anorexic, how i couldnt be good enough for anyone, how i’ll never be perfect..
But something saved me that day. Dad came back early, he had a bad feeling and had to check on things back home. He found me there, the floor stained scarlet, ready to give up.
That was the day my world turned around, i told my parents EVERYTHING. How i felt, what i’ve been through, they got me help. I had the best psychologist, he was so understanding about everything, because he had been through it all. He helped me see things from a different perspective, helped me realize that i was fighting with my own mind thats what depression does to you, he helped me be me again. And believe me when i say this, getting help for yourself will be the best thing you ever do. It will be the toughest thing you will ever have to go through for abit, but once you’re done and you realize you don’t have to fight with yourself anymore and how great life is when you dont have to worry, you will feel the biggest sigh of relief this world can offer, because you’re finally free.
Love this girl to the moon &back <3
